We were going to write this as a guide to what you should do in Auckland if you only had one day, but things got out of control. The problem is, there’s a lot to choose from: going out to one of the beaches and sun-bathing, taking a ferry out to Waiheke Island for wine-tasting, ending up at an exotic sparkling water tasting (will talk about this later – Ed.), going up the Sky-Tower for a few drinks, or jumping off the Sky-Tower (no need to write down any thoughts beforehand, they attach ropes to you). So we narrowed our focus. Here is our guide to spending 24 hours in Auckland – on the cheap!

24 hours in Auckland – 8-11am:

You’ll probably want some coffee. Good news and bad news: if you like filter coffee, as I do, Auckland is difficult territory. You could probably get an americano in the Central Business District stumbling around with a blindfold on, but proper coffee takes more patience and cunning to locate. Luckily, I have a man on the inside, so it took no patience or cunning for me. I’ll pass that knowledge along: if you’re not hungry yet and you just need a coffee, head to Ground. It’s in the lobby of the massive corporate towers of 205 Queen St, but the staff is very nice and they have different varieties on different days. If you’re feeling a mite peckish, however, I’d suggest Chuffed, up the street near Freyberg Square. They also do filter coffee (or batch brew, as the Kiwi’s call it), but they do tend to run out in the afternoon, so go for breakfast, not brunch!

11am-1pm: Auckland Domain

Alright now let’s walk a few miles. What’s that? No, stop complaining. I can’t hear you! What do you think that coffee was for? You think your granddaddy hit Normandy at that pace? Jesus, pick those legs up.

Anyway.

Next up is lookin’ at some flowers. The Auckland Domain has a few attractions, including the war museum, but the Wintergardens and Fernery (you read that right) is where it’s at. All kinds of exotic plants and ferns, water lilies, some nice statuary – just look at it:

Seen enough? Alright now let’s walk a few more miles.

1-3:30pm: Auckland Art Gallery

Keep moving. There’s a few coffee shops nearby if you need another one to keep going (you’ll have to get an americano though…sorry), but the Auckland Art Gallery is a nicely sized collection to entertain but not completely overwhelm your aesthetic sense.

Christa and I found our favorite part on level 1: The Robertson Gift. It’s a great set of impressionist and early-modern art, including painting and sculpture. If you’re not much of an art person, there’s at least some naked ladies in there. Anyway. In addition to some of the greats – Cezanne, Picasso, Dali – I found some other great artists I didn’t know, like Albert Dubois-Pillet, Charles Dulac, and Andre Derain.

You can pay for the main exhibit if you want, but you can also just wander around and see 95% of the museum for free. So far, you’ve only paid for coffee and maybe breakfast, and we’ve made it to the mid-afternoon!

3:30-5pm: Lunch at the Elliott Stables

Time for more walking. Don’t worry, this one’s short. We’re gonna head down the road a few blocks and across the street a few blocks and just pull it up on your phone already, good god man. The Elliot Stables is an indoor food hall filled with different restaurants: however, some are not good. There are still some great choices though, and our tippy-top spot so far is Mace Indian Flavour. When you go there, get the Veggie Chettinadu. I once knew a man who ate it 9 times in 10 days…

Anyway.

To pair with your meal, I suggest a glass of red wine from DeNiro (yes, it’s called that). That’s the beauty of the stables – you can just order a mishmash from any of these places. That’s called free will!

Now you’ve fortified yourself with a snack, and your total spend is about $25-30 NZD ($14.25-$17 USD at time of this writing) for dinner and a glass of wine. Now it’s time for one last short stroll across the street and up one block…

5-7pm: Tie one on at The Fiddler

Like any bastion of civilization, Auckland provides many places of refuge for the Drinking Man. The Fiddler is a cozy Irish bar where the staff are friendly, the patrons are pleasant, and the beer is only $5.50 USD during happy hour, which is actually three hours, and is actually every day.

Enjoy the sunshine on the patio upstairs or sit on the streetside and people watch as you slowly sink your way through whatever you have left to spend. We’ve yet to have a bad time in this place! There’s a pool table upstairs, with free pool on Sundays (to please the Lord, one assumes). Once the magic wears in, stumble merrily into the evening to wherever you happen to be staying (but remember: if you stay past 7….prices go back up).

24 hours in Auckland: conclusion

So, there you have our very cheap 24 hour guide to Auckland. It’s not exactly 24 hours, I know, but I’m leaving you 4 free hours to fill in like a coloring book, and 8 hours for sleep. If you want to subtract some of those…it may be less cheap. Which we’ll cover in another guide soon! Donate now for: 24 hours in Auckland on the not so cheap! But wait! Call now, and we’ll take double your money!

Coming up soon: Culinary thoughts and the return of Diatribalism.